0 - 5 Year Olds

* We make sure that they are given attention by more people than just their parents. If they are ignored by others, they are very likely to act up and try to monopolise their parents.

* One adult or a couple of older kids, sometimes plays ball with them outside, to use up some of their excess energy and give them the feeling that they are worth spending time with.

* We have coloured pencils and paper on a low table for them to draw with, while people are talking. (We have found that texta colours and crayons can make unfortunate marks on carpet and furniture, so it is best not to make them available to this age group.)

* We have found that a 'difficult' toddler will often benefit from an adult, who is not one of the toddlers parents, but who is prepared to be a 'special friend' to him or her. This involves the adult paying this child special attention in meetings but not being monopolised by him or her. It starts the child on the path of positive interactions with adults when perhaps most previous interactions were negative ('don't do that!', 'be quiet.' 'get away from there!').

* We have a box of 'quiet' toys for the little ones, in the room where church meets. Because they don't play with them all the time, they are likely to be more interesting than the ones they could bring from home. Noisy toys like 'corn poppers' and hammer toys need to be put out of sight before the little ones arrive.

* this age group seems to learn about Christian life by EXPERIENCING Christian love and attention from other people in the group more than from hearing about it in teachings.

* The little ones in our church love action songs.

6 - 10 Year Olds

* We have acted out whole books of the bible, a chapter or so at a time, for the benefit of this age group (older kids like this too). Over the years we have done Acts, Matthew's gospel and are now planning to try Exodus. ( Sometimes we skip over the very philosophical parts which would be difficult for the children to understand.) Everybody seems to enjoy this kind of exercise. The smaller ones love playing Jesus or some kind of a ruler because it reverses the role they usually play in life. The adults benefit from doing something physical and the stories stay in people's minds because we have seen them unfold before us.

* This age group is often happy to share a prayer time with the adults, where everyone says a one sentence 'thank you' prayer. In general, however, our 6 to 10 year olds hate to sit through long adult prayers. For this reason, we save up our expansive, peaceful praying to a time when the adults are alone together.

11 - 15 Year Olds

* The children in this age group in our church, love special church outings. We have a tradition of going once a year into the foothills near Canberra to pick blackberries and have a picnic. Also, around this warm time of year we have an afternoon of boating and sailing together on the lake.

* Home church camps at the beach are also very popular .

* We are just beginning a roster with adults and children alike being responsible for different home church activities eg choosing the songs, accompanying songs with musical instruments, getting the food heated and on the table. 11 to 15 year olds often seem to have practical skills that can benefit the church. We have discovered that it is worth looking for them in each child. Perhaps they are enjoying cooking at school and would like to cook something for everyone. Some of our girls learn singing and are able to lead us in part-singing. It has been quite a heavenly experience at times.

* Some of our kids, at this age become morose and a bit uncooperative in church (Probably because they want to be somewhere else with their friends. Other times I think it is just because they are tired from high school, home work and a heavy social life.). I find that I have better 'spiritual' talks with my teenager, when crises and questions come up at home than I do at church. Because these are the real and important issues of life, I try to make time to listen and talk when she is ready to speak. This is hard, but I think it has paid dividends over the years.

* Adult mentors from within home church are good for kids of this age and older.

For all ages

* We try to welcome all the children warmly and call them by name

* Games nights. Once or twice a year we have a games night with special treat food. A favourite game is called 'washing an elephant'. 4 people go out of the room and then one returns to watch someone act out a secret complex activity (like washing an elephant). A second person returns to the room to watch the first acting out what they have just seen. As this process is repeated, the actions diverge further and further from the original intent. After it has been copied 4 times everyone guesses what it is.

Note

We call the time we do things with the kids 'whole church activities' rather than marginalising it by calling it 'children's activities'.

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Ideas for Intergenerational Home Church Activities

Frozen Pictures

Because young children understand concrete experiences much more than they understand concepts, it is often good to act out a bible passage in church. Frozen pictures' is a simple way to act a story. This means that even shy people will feel they can participate.

First of all read through the passage to be acted. (It is best to begin with a simple story.) Then choose who will play each person, animal or divine being in the story. Imagine that a cameraman has taken shots of the major events in the plot. Go through the plot arranging yourselves into each one of these 'frozen pictures'. When each person has learnt their moves you can begin the performance.

Someone narrates the story from the beginning until they have described the first frozen picture. The narator then waits till the actors have taken these positions for this first snapshot of the action. She than says 'curtain up'. The 'audience', who have had their eyes shut since the begining of the performance are now allowed to open then. The narator then says 'curtain down' and continues with the story til the next frozen picture. And so the story progresses. Picnics

Sometimes it is good to pack a picnic lunch and have church outside, in the bush or in a park.

There are a couple of advantages in doing this.

Firstly you may find that some of the children in your church will calm down considerably when they are outside. We have had a number of these 'outside kids' in our group over the years.

Secondly, it can be quite uplifting to talk about God and pray, with nature all around you. It is just as awe inspiring as looking at a stain glass window or listening to a church choir.

We have found that parks are pretty empty on Sunday mornings so that you can usually pray and even sing together without attracting a crowd of onlookers.

The children can participate in a bible story and then play cricket or build cubbies while the adults discuss and pray.

Piles of Shoes

This idea was suggested to me by the Grover's home church in Sydney. To stress upon everyone in church, the difference in the amount of possessions that Australians and people from other countries have, everyone brought in all their shoes and put them in a big pile in the living room. Then someone talked about how many people in poor countries have no shoes or only one pair. One pile of shoes can speak louder than many words.

Imaging

The Grovers also do an activity with the very little kids in their church to introduce the idea of people being in God's image. They ask a child to make a movement of their choice, say 'rolling their eyes and then turning around' everybody then tries to copy or 'image' this. They then say how this is like us being in God's image.

********* "Are We Serious About Children in Home Church" A Play

Jill: You know I just don't think we are serious enough about our responsibility for the children in home church.

Helen: What do you mean?

Jill: Well we aren't teaching the kids enough bible verses and bible stories. I remember when I was in Sunday School I learnt heaps of those things.

Helen: But do you think that learning facts will bring your children to faith?

Jill: I don't know........ I just feel that because we aren't as organized and structured as Sunday School we aren't doing as good a job. My kids don't play up as much for a teacher who they are scared of than for you or me, who they aren't scared of........... It is just that I really want them to learn about Christianity while I have some influence over them and I am afraid I am missing my chance.

Helen: Well why don't we think about how learning is happening in our church right now.

Jill: OK........... I guess I am learning a lot about depending on God at present. I've learnt from you. All the hard things you have gone through and all the uncertainties have meant you had to trust in God. I've learnt from June too. Because of her eating disorder she knows that she has to depend on God to get through every day. She has to make that relationship real. When she talks about needing to let go her control of people and events, to trust other people and God, I can see I need to do that too. I think .... maybe I will see some miracles too, if I try what she is doing. You know I did try out something new just recently..... It was when Dave didn't want to go to the combined home church meeting we had with the Gardiner's church.

Helen: He didn't want to go?

Jill: Yes he said that there was no point. It was because there were no other boys his own age going to be there. I decided to see if we could depend on God. I got Dave and Alice to sit down on the lounge with me and we prayed about it. It wasn't all good, they pushed each other a bit but then they settled down. I asked Dave if he could tell God how he was feeling about going to the meeting and then we all sat quietly and tried to understand what God thought about it. Alice and Dave didn't know, but I had this strong sense that I wasn't to make things good for Dave, we should just trust God and the other people there and it would turn out OK. Things started off pretty ruff, something made Dave cry but then half way through the evening Evan and Dave hit it off, Dave knew all the clues for a computer game Evan had just started. I went into Dave's room after church and asked him how it went and he said: "You know ......... it worked out just like you said.........we waited and something good happened."

Helen: That's terrific! So........ you learned something from the adults in church and you passed it on to Dave. Do you think he could have had an experience like that in Sunday School.

Jill: It's hard to imagine it.

Helen: And when you think of all the time you have with your children during the week, do you still think Sunday School teachers can be more effective?

Jill: Perhaps they can't! They don't have many real life problems popping up in their classes...... So that must be what the Bank's meant when they talked about 'the teachable moment'. I have lots of 'teachable moments' with my kids during the week.

Helen: I guess that is why St Paul never proposed Sunday Schools. He knew that kids would learn from their parents lives, if the parents were built up by the church.

Jill: But its a bit frightening isn't it! What happens when you teach you children something about the way God is and it doesn't work out how you said?

Helen: You have to tell them about that too. You have to show kids your struggles and be honest about your uncertainties. Last week I was speaking with some friends on just that topic. We talked about how children begin by thinking that their parents know everything and are always right. Its very frightening for them when they start to suspect it isn't true ......its like the poles being knocked out from under their wharf! But at some stage they have to stop depending on parents and begin to depend on God. If their parents always insist they know what is right, their kids will never get a chance to work things out between themselves and God. Parent's need to allow their children to take some decisions that the parents know are wrong. That is the only way they'll learn.

Jill: But what if the results will be disastrous? You don't let kids run out on the road when they are little, do you.

Helen: No, you give them freedom in matters where you judge that the consequences won't be really dire.

Jill: I suppose that the amount of freedom you give children will grow as they mature.

Helen: Yes, it can happen more and more as time passes. But as Robert Cole found in his book 'The Spiritual Life of Children' even quite little children can have a direct relationship with God. King David is a great example for parents to think about. He would never have been the brave king who trusted God if he hadn't been left alone to defend the sheep against wolves and lions.

Jill:..........So you really have to do two things at once if you're a parent in home church. You have to take responsibility for showing your kids about God AND you have to know when to stop being a roadblock between them and God. That sounds hard.

Helen: Yes it does. I really don't think it's possible without a loving church to help you.

Jill: But I still feel we need to teach bible verses and do more serious bible study with the children IN CHURCH.

Helen: Yes I'm all for bible study and learning bible verses....... but its important to see clearly what you are trying to teach and whether your assumptions about children are correct.

Jill: What assumptions about children?

Helen: Well you seemed to be assuming that the bible is a collection of facts and that children are minds that these facts have to be fed into. .........It reminds me of a delinquent boy whose mother came to my friend Diana for councelling. She thought that her son would be all right in future because he was learning eight bible verses a week at Sunday School! I don't think that necessarily follows.

Jill: .......So what are we trying to teach and how do we view our children?

Helen: I've just been reading 'The Theology of Children's Ministry' by Lawrence Richards. He says that the Bible isn't a collection of facts but the story of how God RELATED to his people over hundreds of years. He says that we don't want to produce children who are walking encyclopaedias of the Bible. We want our children to have a real RELATIONSHIP with God.

Jill: I guess that's right.

Helen: And the best way to teach relationships is in relationship.

Jill: What do you mean by that?

Helen: Well, if you are studying the way people in the bible related to God and other people with hope or love or forgiveness it is good to have models in the group who are doing those things right now. You can't teach kids love if they aren't being loved.

Jill: It just makes sense, doesn't it!

Helen: Yes it does!

Jill: And what assumptions SHOULD we have about children?

Helen: Children aren't minds to be filled with facts and concepts, they are growing people at a particular stage of development .

Jill: So?

Helen: So we must teach then in a way that suits the stage they are at.

Jill: Perhaps that is why the kids get so fidgety when we have long prayers or an adult goes off on one of her favourite theological expositions?

Helen: Yes, none of our kids are in high school yet so they aren't good at learning CONCEPTS. They need to EXPERIENCE things to understand them. That's why the plays we do of Bible passages are more interesting and helpful to them than just reading the text and discussing it.

Jill: So if they experience a bible story they will remember it, but if we talk about it, they may not.

Helen: Yes. And the experiential learning does not have to always come from the Bible. Remember when we got everybody to bring in ALL their shoes and pile them in the centre of Doris's living room. No one could forget that pile! Then June talked about how people in poor countries had only one pair of shoes each, or none at all. We could all see the difference between their lifestyle and ours and it had a lasting impression on us.

Jill: .........I think I understand now. My kids have been learning important things, but I couldn't see it because they weren't learning in a conventional classroom kind of way. Now, if I'm clear about the way they learn best, I can help it to happen more. You know what I would really like our church to do? I'd like us to write down some of the major understandings we share about God and church and design experiential lessons for the kids on each one. Do you think we could do that?

Helen: Yes - we're flexible!